


Please break me gently

by impatientseamstress



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Blood Loss, Clothing Destruction, Descriptions of wounds, EVerybody is messed up, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Impalement, Set before they find out Wayne is alive, blood pain and bruises, characters communicating about their questionable life choices, everybody in the bath, everybody is carrying sixteen tons of emotional baggage, mid movie AU, torn Black Mamba, very injured characters, wound care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 19:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impatientseamstress/pseuds/impatientseamstress
Summary: Megamind makes it four steps into her apartment before he collapses.
Relationships: Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 33
Kudos: 82





	Please break me gently

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by ThatFilthyAnimal requesting torn up Black Mamba art and my brain going "Oooh but what if he just collapses and Roxanne finds out that Tighten well and truly messed him up?" So yeah. 
> 
> The title is taken from a Tex Perkins song who once ate at a pub I was working at. Great song, fits the situation very well.
> 
> This is set directly after the first fight with Tighten when Megamind brings Roxanne the Carlos cube. We go off the rails from there.

Megamind makes it four steps into her apartment before he collapses.

Roxanne, afraid, angry and still very fucking resentful considers just leaving him on the floor until she sees the wet gleam on the black of his suit and because she doesn't want engine grease staining her rug, nudges him with her foot.

He doesn't move.

She nudges him again and her foot sinks into his ribs _way_ more than she is comfortable with and she jumps back. Megamind doesn't wake or cry out but he makes a kind of hissing whimper and curls a little around himself.

Roxanne hesitates then looks down at her feet and stops.

Purple grease?

She pulls off her slipper and peers at it, then looks back down at the passed out supervillain on her floor. She touches a finger to the purple wet and sniffs it gingerly. Its tacky on her skin and smells almost coppery. She peers closer and sees the same colour crusted around his nose. 

Roxanne frowns as she drags her mind back through an excess of books and library nights and ~~bright green eyes~~ until she recalls the word hemocyanin.

Is that blood?

All those years of kidnappings she's never seen him with more than a bruise. What the hell?

Roxanne growls to herself and kicks off her other slipper to kneel beside him, "Hey genius, wake up."

No response. She reaches out one hand and pokes at his shoulder. Still nothing but the glove on his hand sparks and she scrambles back.

Great. Staining her floor and setting her apartment on fire. She throws a tea-towel over his arm and reaches for the buckles on the glove, pulling it down and off his wrist. His fingers are bent at an unusual angle, the nails cracked and broken and swelling forcing the leather to stretch and cling as she tears it off. 

Roxanne stops and looks at him properly. There are more bruises blooming on his skin, his lip is swollen and its more than just his fingers that aren't sitting the way they should. His neck is bent awkwardly, the half destroyed spikes on his shoulders digging into his skin. One of them is worryingly close to his eye.

Sighing with frustration she puts the glove in a soup pot on her balcony and covers it with a lid. Then returns with towels and her first aid kit to roll Megamind carefully, if non too gently, onto his back.

He's so goddamn skinny. But the suit is so ripped and smudged with smoke and more blood that it takes her a minute to even find the deep gash under his ribs. She tries to dab away the blood but the leather is drying stiffly and she cant find the where the cut ends or begins.

"For fuck's sake," she huffs and fumbles with the spiked mantle until she can figure out how to unclasp it from his shoulders and push it off him.

That's when she sees one of the spikes has been knocked loose and driven _into_ his shoulder bleeding sluggishly down the rest of his suit. A pool of blood that had been caught in the mantle gushes over her floor and splashes her toes. 

Roxanne goes to cover her face with her hand, remembers her sticky fingers and presses her wrist to her mouth instead.

Goddammit Metro Man never messed him up this much. 

"You idiot," she mutters, ignoring the way her voice cracks in the middle, "What the hell were you thinking?" One hand under his knees, the other around his shoulders she picks him up. He's so light, too light and Roxanne leaves bloody footprints through her apartment as she carries him into her bathroom.

She sets him in her bathtub and folds a towel under his neck to stop his head lolling like a dead bird into the soap dish. She keeps up a steady litany of name calling and listing his many, many faults and mistakes as she turns the shower to lukewarm and watches stained water flow down the drain like washed out dye.

When the water is no longer thick with smoke but tinged violet, she takes pair of scissors and starts cutting further across the tear over the left side of his chest until she can open his shirt up in a morbid parody of an autopsy incision and sees just how bad the damage really is.

Roxanne has reported on a lot of dark shit over the years, including once an actual war zone during a college internship that should not have gone as sideways as it did. But she still has to stop and focus on the bite of the steel blades closed in her fist so she doesn't throw up.

His chest is a mass of dark bruises and darker blood. Finger shaped marks wrap around the side of his ribs like someone grabbed a loaf of bread and _squeezed_. There are gashes and nicks all the way down to his waist and she can see one rip in the suit that continues down over one thigh in a place that would have probably killed someone with a human circulatory system. His chest is moving slowly under the steady rush of water, hitching every time he tries to breathe too deeply. His blue skin looks almost grey in the harsh fluorescent light.

Roxanne hopes its the light .

Her fingers don't seem to want to work properly and she resorts to the scissors again to get the boots off his feet, then returns to his arms to start slicing through his sleeves, leaving a patch around the steel spike in his shoulder. The drizzle from the shower runs down her arms, plasters her hair to her head and she shoves it impatiently back from her face as anger and fear coil tightly around her lungs.

She eases the stiffening suit away from the shoulder closest to her then starts on the other side, trying to keep the scissors from pressing into his bloody skin.

A hand grips her wrist, "What are you doing?" His voice is hoarse and flat and his eyes are open, watching her warily.

"Not letting you bleed out in my apartment," she retorts and keeps cutting the ripped leather away from his chest.

"Stop-"

"I'll stop when you stop bleeding," she snaps, glaring at him under the spray.

"Wait-"

"What the hell were you thinking?" She demands, the scissors have dulled rapidly. Whatever is in the suit is more than leather and she has to fight to cut the seam at his shoulder.

"Please," Water bubbles over his lips as he murmurs the plea and his mouth is tight with pain.

Roxanne sits back on her heels, scissors still held like a threat, "Why?"

He holds up his hand from where she had propped it on the edge of the tub, silver watch still gleaming at his wrist, "Don't..." he catches his breath and speaks again "Sparks...d-don't want you to...get hurt"

"Its a little late for that." Her voice is ugly as she shuts off the spray and dries her hands before undoing the strap and tossing the watch carelessly where it lands with a clatter in her sink, "I'm smashing that thing with a hammer," she hisses viciously.

"...fair" the injured supervillain in her tub groans faintly.

Roxanne folds her arms tightly, digging her thumbnail into the soft part of her elbow, "Hal did this?"

Head resting on the tiles, Megamind nods slightly. 

"What the fuck did he do?"

"Punch," His voice is thready and he points with one long finger at the bruise on his stomach, "Threw me...into a building," he gestures at the fingermarks, "Threw me th-through another one," He makes an aborted attempt at his punctured shoulder. "Headbutt, kicked, couple of good elbows...wasn't expecting those."

"Jesus..." Roxanne slumps beside the tub.

"Not my preferred mythology...but if you h-have...an in...I could use the help" He winces and lifts his mangled hand to his lips to catch his fingers in his teeth.

"What are you doing?" Roxanne asks but he jerks his wrist and his teeth clench down in a strangled scream as his fingers straighten.

"Oh ow..." He pants shallowly, "Shouldn't have done that with the ribs," His head tips back and his eyes slide closed.

"What the fuck?" Roxanne clutches the bath tightly, "Why would you- for fucks sake you idiot!" She fumbles for the first aid kit and finds tape and the plastic splint she used last time she broke her finger playing roller derby, "I was getting to those!"

"Not your...responsibility" his hand is cradled against his chest.

"Responsibility my ass! You collapsed in my apartment! What the hell was I supposed to do?"

He doesn't have an answer and she turns to get more towels then whirls back at his gasp of pain and the clatter of the steel spike landing in the tub beside him.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She shrieks. 

He stares up at her dully, "Had to...come out" he pants.

"You moron you're not supposed to pull out an impaled object! You're supposed to apply pressure and go to a hospital!" She shoves one of the towels over his shoulder where it quickly stains purple.

He raises his eyebrows wearily, "Hospital," he repeats.

Roxanne scowls, "What am I meant to do if you bleed out!"

His face twists, "If I die in your shower just throw my body off your balcony," he mutters.

"Oh fuck you" she chokes and presses the towel harder, "Where's Minion?"

"Gone."

"Gone?" Her grip slackens, "What happened?"

"Didn't want...any of this...left."

"Left where?"

"Don't know...was before," his uninjured hand lifted and fell to indicate his rather below average state of being, "This."

"Small mercies," Roxanne mutters, she reapplies pressure and glares at his shoulder like she could force it healed through sheer willpower. "Why did you come to me," she asks, checking the bleeding at his shoulder and swapping the towel for a gauze bandage that she tapes over his shoulder, "You can't hide here."

"Not..." Megamind groans, "Needed information...hoped you...knew Metro Man's hideaway..."

"For what?"

He blinks at her confusion muddying his gaze, "To stop Tighten?"

She stares at him "In this condition?"

"Thought I'd...take a spa day first," he grunts as he sits up.

"Stay there," she orders. 

He doesn't listen, drawing one knee under him to push himself up then falling back with a pained gasp.

"I told you," Roxanne bundles another towel behind his back and holds him down with her fingertips on his uninjured shoulder, "Stop it, stay there."

"I'm not-" he pants.

"I don't care," She shoves her wet hair out of her face again and glares down at him, "What's wrong with your knee?"

An almost hysterical bubbles up then gets cut off as his chest shudders, "What isn't?" he gasps, "I d-don't..." He blinks rapidly, pupils are massive and black and his fingers scrabble at the sides of the tub.

"Megamind!" Roxanne presses down on his wrist, "Jesus stop it! You're going to hurt yourself worse!"

He flinches and stills, shallow gasps jerking in and out of his chest.

"Sit back," she guides him back to rest against the towels folded over the end of the tub, "You are going to stay there until I'm done with your injuries. Do you understand?"

He gulps and nods, eyes closing and gritting his teeth.

"Can you take painkillers?" He shakes his head no. "Alcohol? I have vodka?" 

He winces and gingerly rests his arm on the side of the tub, "Water...helps"

Roxanne fumbles for the plug and slips it into the drain, then turns the spray back on, letting the water slowly rise to buoy him a little.

The long tear down his thigh still has ragged purple edges, she picks up the scissors again and starts cutting, "These are coming off," she tells him flatly, dropping a hand towel over his waist for him to protect his modesty. But there's an under-suit halfway up his thighs that looks to have mostly survived so he floats listlessly in the water as she slices through more leather and buckles until she has a blister on her hand from the scissors and the mass of purple and black bruising around his knee is laid bare.

"Is this broken?" She asks and gets a whimpering groan in response when she prods lightly but he doesn't open his eyes. She tries to tape it up as best she can, but the angle is awkward with her sink blocking the end of the tub she can't reach as far as she needs.

Eventually she gives up and gets into the bath with him, kneeling between his legs and resting his ankle over her hip so she can lift his knee out of the water. She tapes it as best she can, given she isn't even sure if he has proper kneecaps or where. When she looks up he's staring at her, looking pale and pained and utterly perplexed at her being there.

"Why are you h-helping me?"

Roxanne smooths sports tape over his calf and looks at him, "Because as astonishing as it is to the both of us, I already lost one friend this year and I don't want you dead."

"Why not?" He seems genuinely bewildered by that, "I'm the bad guy. I k-killed the- _him._ I _lied_ to you."

"And I used you."

He blinks at that, "Your career was-"

"Not that." She doesn't elaborate further.

"What then?" He asks cautiously as they sit in a lukewarm bath, water splashing over the sides to wash bandage wrappers and scraps of leather around the floor. Roxanne feels wet denim bunching behind her knees, water is trickling down her neck and she keeps having to push her hair out of her face.

"Bernard," She says finally, "...was nice. And I was this close to breaking up with him."

Megamind nods as if this makes sense.

"Because I was using him to get back at you."

He gives her a stunned look, "How?"

"Because you disappeared on me for six months!" She snapped, "I spent the first month after the funeral waiting for you to show up and gloat or kidnap me so you'd have a captive audience to explain how you beat your nemesis once and for all, and I don't know, get some kind of closure and I got nothing!"

Megamind flinches but Roxanne has been bottling this up for far longer than just last night and now she's started she can't quite stop. 

"Years of putting up with your Great Battle between Good and Evil and I didn't get so much as a thanks for being such a good sport! I wasn't exactly expecting a cape and a throne and Evil Queen cards being made up but you at least owed me something! But no! You just fucking took over the city and left me looking like an idiot for expecting an apology or an acknowledgement or _something_ for being your third wheel for seven goddamn years!"

"So yeah!" She shoves her bedraggled hair out of her face again, "Of course I was going to want to rub it in your face next time you rampaged down the streets that my life was just fine! That I'd found someone smart and sweet and kind of a dork and that maybe reminded me of you! Someone who didn't try to disrupt my week or was partially responsible for years worth of rumours about my life!"

She leans over him and braces her arms on the sides of the tub. He looks up at her, the low hiss of the shower raining down above them. She catalogues the hits and cuts and bruises decorating his skin and wonders for a moment how much strength he would have to fight back if she wrapped her fingers around his throat. 

Megamind blinks up at her once, waiting for whatever punishment she deems worthy.

She cocks her head, leans down and presses her lips to his.

Megamind makes a startled almost pained sound and leans up into the kiss. Her mouth opens and he gasps as she traces the swollen split on his lip and sucks his tongue into her mouth. He moans a strange lonely harmony and lifts his hand to brush over her hair and cup her cheek. Roxanne breaks the kiss and pulls back with a splash.

"No." She holds her hand implacably against his chest, "No, you kidnapped me and disrupted my life for years. You left me in the dark for six months after getting everything you claimed you ever wanted while I was left without so much as a thanks for participating sticker. I had to scramble to redefine my career because I was suddenly not interesting enough if I wasn't getting kidnapped. And then you turned around and faked your way into dating me when everything you wanted turned out to be anything but." She reaches for the taps above his head and turns off the water, "I am still incredibly, unbelievably angry at you."

She gets out of the tub and snaps a dry towel open and holds it out, "And right now there is another superpowered madman _you_ created destroying the city. So whatever fucking-" she shrugs angrily, " _Thing_ we're going to have out about Bernard and everything else is going to have to wait." She gestures impatiently with the towel and when he slowly gets out of the tub to stand bewildered and dripping on the tiles she dries him off and has him sit on the edge of the tub so she can cover his cuts with bandages and find an icepack for his knee. 

"I thought I killed your boyfriend," He murmurs quietly as she dabs arnica over his bruises. Her fingers stop for a moment then return, slower than before and she focuses on finding each bruise, "That's..." Roxanne sighs deeply, "Yeah okay that's fair." She gets back in the bath to check his back and clenches her fists angrily at the long scratch running diagonally across his spine that has started bleeding again, "But it doesn't excuse the rest of it." She avoids his gaze as she finds another bandage, "For either of us," she mutters in an undertone.

Megamind nods tiredly and lets her redo the bandage at his shoulder.

Its dark by the time she's done and the first aid kit is severely depleted. Roxanne pulls out a dark grey sleep shirt in soft jersey with a long enough placket she can just get it over Megamind's head. It hangs loose and oversized around him and he rubs the soft fabric between his fingers in a motion caught somewhere between curiosity and distraction. She makes toast because its all she has in the house and he eats mechanically while she changes out of her saturated clothes and into her own pajamas.

He doesn't argue when she guides him into her bedroom and tucks him under her blankets. She offers him painkillers which he refuses, and water which he accepts. She seats herself cross-legged beside him, her back against the headboard and opens her laptop, "If you start coughing up blood I'm taking you to the hospital, I don't care what you say."

He makes a movement that might be a shrug and she focuses on her laptop and the myriad of phone and camera footage of the fight already online to see if she can spot some kind of weakness.

"I'm sorry," The quiet murmur rasps out of his throat. She looks down at him lying stiff and still beside her, the light from her laptop screen casting dark shadows over his face,

"Are you?" She asks almost curiously. Because he'd never so much as apologized for anything before, she wasn't even aware he knew the word.

"I never thought I'd actually...manage it. I was trying...I just wanted things back the way they were."

"How'd that work out for you?"

"About as well as anything else I ever did," There is something very bleak in his voice. Roxanne hesitates, then reaches over and traces her fingertips lightly over the curve of his head, "Go to sleep," she murmurs, resting her palm on his cool skin. He presses his head into her hand with a kind of shuddering gasp and she flinches and pulls her hand away before she accidentally hurts him further.

Roxanne searches the footage, but finds there's only so many times she can watch the too still alien beside her thrown violently through bricks and steel girders before she closes her laptop and curls under the blankets to fall asleep beside him in the quiet dark.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you think!


End file.
